myadoptionwebsite.com - International adoption web sites and announcements

Saturday, August 15, 2009
HOME FOR NINE MONTHS

Wow, it’s hard to believe that in three more months Maili will have been a part of our family for an entire year. The past nine months have flown by and we have enjoyed every minute of it. This past month has been a very busy one. We experienced our very first vacation as a family of four with a week at the beach, where Maili thoroughly enjoyed herself while playing in the sand and swimming in the ocean. A few weeks later, we celebrated Maili’s 5th birthday with a gathering of our extended family at her favorite Chinese restaurant. In addition, Maili began attending a local playgroup for adopted Chinese kids, where she has had the opportunity to experience Chinese language and culture through songs and games. We were a bit concerned about how she might react at first, given the fact that she has refused to speak Chinese lately and pointedly ignores anyone who attempts to engage her by speaking Chinese to her. By the end of the first class, however, she was participating with the group and now excitedly looks forward to her next “China School” as she calls it.

She is also eagerly looking forward to her first day of kindergarten, which will begin next week. She is very excited about attending the same school as Holt this year, and has worked hard this summer to bring her academic skills up to the level of her peers. Her language continues to improve, and the changes we see in her continue to amaze us.

Every day we see her bond with us deepening, and she has become so loving and affectionate lately that it’s hard to believe she’s the same little girl who would shun our hugs and kisses in the beginning. Many times a day I hear her little voice saying “ I Yub you, Mommy” and it never fails to warm my heart. We had been concerned awhile back about the fact that she never seemed to miss us when we were gone and would appear to simply be happy to be with whomever she was with. At times we wondered if this was a sign of her lack of attachment to us or just part of her happy, outgoing personality. Recently, though, we have begun to notice a change in her. For example, the first time I took her to her “China School”, as she calls it, I led her over to the group already in progress and sat down in the back of the room to watch. For almost half an hour, I watched silently as she stood stark still in the center of the room while the other children ran and sang around her. She had the same frozen expression on her face that we had seen the day we picked her up from the orphanage, and she just stared ahead silently with her shoulders slumped, with no expression and no reaction at all to what was going on around her. When the teacher dismissed the class to the hallway for a game, she continued to stand in the same spot and did not move. Finally, I got up from where I had been sitting and came up behind her, touching her on the shoulder and telling her that she needed to join the rest of the class in the hallway as the teacher had instructed. As she looked up at me, her relief at my presence was almost palpable, and she gave me an enormous hug, taking me by the hand to lead me to the hallway. It was then that I realized that she had had no idea that I had been there the entire time. She thought that I had just left her there in that room with all of those other Chinese children and she had not been certain that I would return. I felt terrible, knowing that she had probably had a similar experience when she was taken to the orphanage by her foster family a month before we came to China to get her. At that point I took the time to kneel down and reassure her that I had been there the entire time and that even if I did have to leave sometimes that Mommy would always come back for her. Always. She nodded and gave me another hug, then ran to join the group. From that moment on, she enjoyed the class thoroughly and participated fully, though she did occasionally check to make certain I was still there. After the class was over, I talked to her again on the way home about the fact that no matter where she was, I would always come back to get her if I had to leave. I wasn’t sure how much she understood the conversation, since she didn’t say much at the time, but a few weeks later I would find out that she had indeed been listening.

After her birthday party, Maili was issued an impromptu invitation to go home and spend the night with her Aunt Shari, and I asked her if she wanted to go. Of course her answer was yes, and she excitedly hopped into the car with her cousins and waved goodbye. She had never spent the night away from home without us before, but since she had rarely, if ever, shown any signs of separation anxiety, we felt that she would be fine. Surprisingly enough, however, she actually got a bit weepy at bedtime and requested Mommy and Daddy. Fortunately, Aunt Shari was able to reassure her that she would see us the next day and she went on to sleep, but we were actually elated to find out that she had missed us at all, since that has not appeared to have been the case in the past. When I picked her up the next day, she hugged and kissed me excitedly and then exclaimed “Mommy Daddy ALWAYS come get you!” That’s right, sweetheart. And we always will.

Up to something

At the beach

Discovering the ocean

Pure joy

Surfin' girl

Birthday hugs

Birthday girl

Water dancing	On vacation
Ready for the beach	Yummy ice cream

Website by myadoptionwebsite.com