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Sunday, June 14, 2009
HOME FOR SEVEN MONTHS

Seven months have passed since Maili joined our family. She’s had so many new experiences in her life during that time that I can’t begin to document them all. In the past month, she has caught her first fish, learned to play Guitar Hero, experienced her first hot tub, gone swimming for the first time, and graduated from preschool. When she started 4 year old pre-k five months ago, we fully expected that she would need to repeat pre-k next year because she had missed more than half of the school year and had absolutely none of the skills she would need to enter kindergarten in the fall. However, she has completely surprised us by managing to learn letters, numbers, and colors in addition to increasing her English to the point where she can understand and be understood. A few short months ago we couldn’t imagine that she would be anywhere near ready to enter kindergarten in the fall, but Maili was determined to prove us wrong. Her love for learning and sheer enthusiasm for the learning process has served her well; I can only hope it will continue in the years to come.

In addition to increasing her academic skills, Maili has made steady improvements in her social skills over the past few months. When she first came to us she seemed to have no concept of how to interact appropriately with kids her age. She played alongside them but with no interaction at all, unless they happened to be holding a toy she wanted. When that happened, she would simply walk up and take what she wanted and walk off with it, oblivious to their reaction. Now she will ask " I hold, please?" and wait for them to respond, and if they say no she will say " Maili Mei Mei’s turn!" Her new technique certainly makes for more peaceful playdates! Now if we can just convince her that her name is not really Maili Mei Mei, it is Maili Claire...One thing at a time, I guess.

Although she never appeared to openly grieve the loss of her life in China, she has recently begun to ask to go back there, though she does indicate that she only wants to visit. One day in particular, she was very insistent that " Mei Mei want go China on airplane" and she put on her little backpack that she wore in China , took my hand, and led me to the door. When I asked her what she wanted to do in China, she said "eat ‘yoodles,’ get red dress, go school" She kept repeating over and over that she wanted to go to China on an airplane and when I questioned her further she said that she wanted Mama, Baba Daddy-O ( as she still calls Jamie) and Holt to go with Mei Mei to China on a plane. When I asked her did she want to live there she said "No, want stay Maili Mei Mei house." She spent a long time looking at her lifebook and our travel albums that day, looking carefully at all of the places we visited and asking questions. When she got to the page with the photo of her foster family, I asked her if she missed her China mommy and daddy. She pointed to the picture and said "no dat mommy, DAT Mei Mei mommy" and pointed to me. Talk about melting your heart…

While I am thrilled about the progress she has made in bonding with us and increasing her language skills, I can’t help but be a little sad about what she has lost as a result. Her use of the Chinese language has all but disappeared, with the exception of a few phrases she still uses occasionally. She still says "nai nai potty" when she needs to go to the bathroom and sometimes when she wants us to hold her she will ask in Mandarin, but for the most part she has switched over to English. We didn’t really notice when she started replacing her nightly "BU shu jou" with "No nite nite". I think the turning point came when we heard her talking out in her sleep one night and realized that she was speaking in English and not in Chinese. I did promise to take her back to China one day to visit, on that day when she was so insistent that we all hop on an airplane and go there to eat noodles. I told her that when she is eight or nine years old we will travel back to her homeland to visit her "school" (what she calls the orphanage) and eat noodles and shop for dresses. She looked up at me trustingly and smiled and said "Ok, Mama. We go Mei Mei’s China. Maili and Mama and Daddy and Holt go. Mei Mei HAPPY." And with that, she ran off to go play, happy in the knowledge that one day she will see Mei Mei’s China again.

Checking out Holt's Science Olympiad medal

First fish

Preschool graduation party

Maili and Lola sleeping

Maili and Holt
Who, me?	Summertime fun

Dancing girl

Planting peppers

Look who stole mommy's chair

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