Jennifer's Place Archive
Thoughts for you on this March referral day, from the
wonderfully honest and insightful book From China With
Love, by Emily Buchanan.
"Attached to the letter was a photograph taken when she
was five months old: it showed a pale, chubby baby, with
brown eyes, a slight red rash around her mouth and a glum
expression . . . Her eyebrows were a little wrinkled, her
eyebrows questioning. Was this really our daughter? She
looked solid and real enough, but I couldn't feel her
presence from the photograph. I wanted to hug her, but the
motionless picture just stared back . . . I searched to feel
a link with her. This was our child, but at the time I felt
she was a stranger."
I believe that Emily's honest reaction to receiving her
referral is a gift for us. Because the truth is, not
everyone will experience love at first sight. After waiting
endless months for this moment, you may not feel what you'd
hoped or imagined, which can be crushing (especially when
websites and blogs are full of "love at first sight"
moments.) Please know that it is natural, and you aren't
alone. For some, it simply takes time to feel a bond to
these little pictures of your child. It will come.
"I kept looking at her picture. It was a strange feeling,
but was I falling in love? After thinking at first that she
didn't look particularly like our child, I now just couldn't
take my eyes off her. It was as if something deep and
hormonal was kicking in just from staring at her picture.
The signal between eyes and brain was already creating a