|
Friday, March 10, 2006
FINALLY IN GUANGZHOU!
We are at the White Swan in Guangzhou! There is celebration in
the air here and it feels like it will be a wonderful
transition from the intensity of emotions of the first days of
becoming a family in Nanchang to finally walking into our home
with our daughter in my arms. We are here until Wednesday
doing the paperwork necessary for the American side of Zoe’s
adoption.
This morning Zoe and I packed (or rather I packed and Zoe
unpacked, played a little, unpacked, flirted with her
reflection in the mirror, then unpacked a bit more) while
Steve picked up her passport. I did finally manage to fit
everything in the suitcases and quickly zipped them. I left
Nanchang with so many emotions, that tears came when we
entered the airport at Nanchang. I managed to lose one of
Zoe’s socks as I cried and was carrying her with one bare foot
in a country where you can’t have a bit of exposed skin on the
baby’s legs without several Chinese women coming up to you and
helping to cover your child while scolding you. Thank goodness
there were extra socks in the diaper bag.
I think that we all
were very glad to leave Nanchang and arrive today in
Guangzhou, both because we are one step closer to coming home
and that Nanchang was beginning to feel a bit oppressive and
gray. However, Nanchang will always be one of the most special
and cherished places in the world for me. It is where a child
who I had felt so strongly in my heart from the time we felt
pulled towards adopting from China was placed in my arms. Even
though I fell deeply in love with her picture and with her
when I saw her, we were still strangers to each other. I will
never forget her tears stopping as she became absorbed in the
small identification tag she grasped so tightly in the first
minutes that I held her, only to start again as she looked up
and saw my face. Somehow in those five days that we spent in
Nanchang this child has blossomed into a whirlwind of smiles
and giggles, reaches to touch and experience anything even
remotely within her reach and instead of quietly and carefully
sitting in one place is crawling, standing and constantly in
motion. She now feels familiar in my arms and in spite of
being sore and tired from carrying her so much, my arms do
feel incredibly empty when she is not in them. When she gazes
into my eyes as she is drinking her bottle or turns to make
sure I am still there when she is flirting or playing with
someone else, I am amazed at how deeply we already trust each
other now and how intense love can grow in less than a week. Nanchang is not only the place where we became a family on
March 5, our “Gotcha Day” but also the place where the
beginnings of the love and trust grew that are part of what it
really means to be a family. Last night as I was rocking Zoe
to sleep in my arms, Steve left the room for a few minutes.
She didn’t let herself fall asleep until she knew all three of
us were in the room together. She woke up crying at 5:45 am
this morning and as she melted into my arms, she looked for
her Daddy. Again, she wouldn’t fall asleep until she knew that
he was in the room as well, so I put her in bed between us and
she slept soundly until 7:30. So, in spite of being primarily
an industrial city, Nanchang will always be for me a magical
place where a little girl became my daughter, not only on
paper, but deeply in my heart.
Zoe did beautifully on her first airplane ride. The rice
crackers she loves seemed to ease the pressure on her ears and
she didn’t complain at all during takeoff and landing. She was
very happy to completely empty the contents of the seat pocket
in front of us and seemed very interested in the emergency
directions, though much of the time they were upside down. She
sang and played the entire flight. Hopefully she will enjoy
the long flight from Hong Kong to Newark in a few days as well
as she did this one.
We arrived at the White Swan in Guangzhou in the late
afternoon today. After unpacking a bit, we all met for a
dinner at a Thai Restaurant that was very good and then a
wonderful little internet coffee stop after a quick diaper
change back at the hotel. I can’t wait to wander into all the
little shops tomorrow. Zoe very happily grabbed some of
Daddy’s money at the coffee shop, so Zoe and Mommy will go
shopping tomorrow! Of course, Daddy will come with us to carry
things. He has built up good muscles carrying the 9 kg of
porcelain we bought in Nanchang, though Jack helped us quite a
bit with it. Looks like we may have to buy that extra suitcase
before we leave.
Zoe is beginning to relax more with Steve. She had some good
bonding time with Steve before we went to dinner and at the
internet café. She loves playing with him and has let him hold
her for short periods of time several times today. I am
thrilled that she is excited to play peek-a-boo games with me
as well. We had a wonderful game going of Mommy popping into
the bathroom to get something to pack and then quickly popping
back out in some silly way while Zoe sat with Daddy.
Thank you
to all of you that have sent messages to offer support to
Steve. It has been difficult to see the pain in his eyes when Zoe screams for her mama when he is holding her and to not
feel his frustration as anger towards me when I take her from
his arms when she is screaming for me. Today Zoe has made huge
steps toward bonding with her Daddy. It will be fun to watch
them develop their relationship in the years to come.
|
Peaceful Sleep
Do I have to carry this?
Reflections of Zoe
Leaving Nanchang
In case of an Emergency…
Daddy and Zoe
|
