Friday-Saturday, May 26-27, 2006

We are bound for China again!... It seemed almost “surreal” today, taking off from Houston. Memories of only a year and a half ago came flooding back. It has been such an emotional week and I keep finding myself on the edge of tears. I looked at Russ last night, standing in my family room in his cap and gown and it washed over me. Then, as Ryan left the house this morning for his last day of seventh grade and I kissed him goodbye for two weeks, it washed over me again. Just unloading the suitcases and checking in for our flight caused yet another wave of emotion. It seems just yesterday we boarded a plane for China to bring Kate home. I had no idea what incredible and wonderful changes that flight would bring to my life. I am now acutely aware of what changes this flight will also bring! Life almost seems to stand still in these moments and I am not sure whether the emotions I feel are incredible joy and peace or sheer panic, as they seem to change without notice. By the time we were only half way through our very long flight across the Pacific, I had my version of an “emotional meltdown”. It seemed that all I wanted to do (or could do) was cry. On board an airplane without a single empty seat, I found it the most “inconvenient” time for such a meltdown. Even when Sarah rubbed my back to express her love, I told her to not even try “being nice to me today!”- that too would make me cry! I marvel at how the emotions of an adoptive mom are so very much like that of a biological mother. It is a gift from the Lord, and though I do not like it at times, I am grateful that the adoption experience is as “deep” and profound as any biological one could be! I can not count the times that I held Kate closely and thanked God that He gave me the courage to step out and follow my heart to China a year and a half ago. I wonder what incredible things He must have in store for me again and I am overwhelmed by the emotions of it all!