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We're Home
May 29-31
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June 17, 2010
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July 18, 2010
August 18, 2010
TWO MONTHS FEELS LIKE FOREVER . . .
THEN WE HAD SURGERY
I would say
it took a good 6 weeks for us to settle in…food issues, sleep
issues, who is who issues and now we feel like a family and that
we have always been four. There were days when I thought what
have we done, but mostly I just prayed we would all find our
place and it would feel right and it does. Being one of eight
children I can not comprehend what “only child” means, but I
think I always fantasized somewhat about it. My husband is an
only child and he did not want that for our children. I am glad
he pushed me…as fun and amazing as it was to have one child….oh
my stars two is bliss. To see these two girls play and mimic and
just have fun…I will forever have the best seat in the house and
for sure I will always be entertained. Currently Emma watches
Ellie Lu and basically does exactly what she does….good, bad or
ugly and quite honestly even the bad or ugly can be pretty funny
in duo, at times I must compose myself before I can discipline.
One day on the drive to school Ellie Lu said, “Mommy why did
you go to China to get me a sister?” and I thought for a
split second my answer does not matter I want to know what she
thinks and so I said “why do you think Mommy and Daddy went to
China to get you a sister?” and she said “so I could love
her” and the tears just filled my eyes and I knew right then
and there, everything was just fine. They hug they hold hands,
they share and yes they fight, but boy do they enjoy each other
and miss each other when one is not around. They want to dress
alike, they want to both have bows or pigtails or the same
shoes. They look out for each other and when only one of them is
with me they ask about the other.
Emma seems to love life, not long before her surgery I decided
to let her look at her photo book I had created with pictures we
had received while waiting to travel to bring her home. We had
been told in China not to show her photos of her foster family
as she would be very sad. So one day I brought out the book and
she was delighted to see herself and then we got to a page that
had a photo of her and you could see the hand of a woman…which I
thought was likely her foster mother, but was not sure. She
instantly touched the hand and said Momma, then looked at me and
smiled. She at this age does not have a different name for me
and her foster mother she just knows us both as women who loved
and cared for her dearly, but I could tell she was talking about
her foster momma. So I wasn’t sure how she would react with
seeing both her foster momma and father so I skipped the photo
of that. Later she wanted to look again and we looked at that
photo and she was again delighted to not only see the hand but
the entire photo of her foster momma and daddy and then I said,
“where is Momma?” and she pointed to me and was so happy. I want
her to know that a dear family loved her for nearly 2 years
before we could bring her home and that one day we hope to meet
them if at all possible or at least communicate with them. I
don’t want her to forget…
Emma loves chicken nuggets from McDonald’s and really any
chicken nuggets, she loves a plain McDonald’s cheeseburger and
she loved to try what I am eating as long as it is not
vegetables. She loves Momma so much, she wants to be held, or
snuggled and read to and she loves to help Momma. She is going
thru a phase where she rejects Daddy some. Her favorite is
Blondie the cat, she wants to feed him, hold him, play with him,
snuggle with him…she will even lay in the floor and wait for me
to say “are you a cat?” She loves the Leap Frog alphabet toy on
the fridge and loves to knock all the letters in the floor and
hear the noise and then put them back on. She will copycat Ellie
Lu and do the movements the movie makes for each letter like “K
is for kick”. She loves to stack blocks very high and knock them
down. In fact she loves stacking anything…cups, blocks whatever.
She loves her baby dolls and especially loves feeding them or
taking off and putting on their clothes or trying to put her
clothes and shoes or pull-ups on the baby doll.
Emma is so strong willed as Mel says “she would go down with the
boat”. Some I think is just her personality and some is just
what she learned for survival. If she gets something on her mind
she will do it regardless. She is so strong she can take Ellie
Lu down and we have told Ellie not to resist her to prevent we
hope accidents. She is tender hearted and when she refuses to
listen and continue on a path to trouble she will cry like a
limb was removed upon being reprimanded. She is so embarrassed
to be in time out and sadly there is occasion to need to spank,
but time out is the one she really gets upset over. Sometimes we
do time in, but that is almost like rewarding her as she could
sit in my lap wrapped around me all day long.
I can’t even imagine all that we would have missed without
Emma, she has put the punctuation on family of four unless some
miracle comes out of the woodwork, this is it and oh how sweet
it is.
For those who might be considering a child with cleft palate…
I want to say a few words about our experience and of course
everyone’s is different. I was not worried at all until our
travel was approaching and then I thought can we do this are we
prepared, do we know what we are getting into. So then of course
I bought every device, sippy, whatever in hopes of having what
was needed to help Emma eat or drink. Well none of that was
really needed. Really she was so easy and she had already
figured out how to work around her palate and she knew how to
drink from a cup and how to navigate juice boxes and drink out
of the hole. There was nothing we really needed to do. At the
last minute we did not take bottles or formula which was fine,
but when we got home we did formula to help build her up and
gain wait in addition to food.
Once home we could see that foods with odd textures (mostly
soft) she avoided, loved meat and was almost always thirsty. She
really never had anything come out of her nose much but we did
keep tissues just in case. She is pretty messy as most 2 ½ year
olds are. By the time surgery was coming up honestly I felt very
guilty to be putting her thru surgery as life with Emma was so
normal it did not seem she needed anything and even at her
hearing evaluation I said I can tell she hears very well, but we
found out she only heard about 60%. The worrying about the
surgery was hard and really it is so hard to take a child that
you consider healthy and put them thru the surgery, but I just
kept thinking about the big picture and how her life will be so
changed long term from this surgery and any therapies she
receives.
The recuperation is hard, intense, but not anything that should
keep you from adopting a child with cleft. Sometimes getting up
in the morning is hard but we do it. It really is amazing how
Emma has tolerated all she has and really she is just fine. Sure
she cries a little more than we would like sometimes, but I have
come to believe she is just a bit emotional, she is not a
morning person in general but is learning to be….but what she
mostly is…is AMAZING….TRULY AMAZING. Smart as a tack and funny
and beautiful and truly amazing and I can’t thank the Lord
enough for bringing her to us…..how lucky are we to be her
parents! |
Meeting Aunt Teri
Mommy and Me
Ready for Surgery....
Sprinkler fun
What a beauty!
Father's Day 2010
First painted toes...pretty feet!
I love my thumb! |
I'll help you Cissy
July 4th
Beautiful Emma!
Our family of four
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myadoptionwebsite.com
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