Monday,
November 1, 2010
This day will easily go down as one of the most rewarding days
of our lives. A visit to an orphanage is a life changing event.
You can't walk the halls without thinking about those
parent-less children and the parents that had to give them up.
You can't help thinking about the caregivers that take care of
the children's every need, only to face the prospect of them
leaving their lives forever one day. Gemma was in foster care so
she really hadn't spent much time at Guangzhou City Social
Welfare Institute, but it was still good to go. For Gemma, it
was a final little bit of closure as she was able to say goodbye
to two best friends, Bei Bei and Li Li, both of which will be
adopted into U.S. families in the coming months. That of course
means that her goodbye was only temporary. We will keep tabs on
the progress of the other girls' adoptions and reach out to the
families as soon as we know who they are. Failing that, the
girls all exchanged QQ numbers so there will be a way somehow to
stay in touch. This "red thread" concept seems to be alive and
well in our circles.
After a 10-second visit back to the clinic for the TB result
(which she passed) the drive to the orphanage took about an
hour. It is way up north around the back side of White Cloud
Mountain. Both of the girls were waiting on the top balcony near
their room when Gemma showed up and they called out to her.
Gemma was bouncing up and down in excitement, ready to go up.
Once we climbed the five flights of stairs, Gemma and her
friends greeted each other. I think Gemma's visit to her friends
was a surprise. Both were naturally very shy and it took a
little bit to bring them out of their shell. We spent about 20
minutes or so in Gemma's room, taking pictures of the plywood
beds and the outside area surrounding it. Catherine was
negotiating with the orphanage staffer to try and get some more
information for us.
The visit therefore satisfied some curiosity of ours. Well, it
at least made the answers definitive. We were told that Gemma's
finding spot was "near Nanfeng Hospital". We were hoping to get
something more specific since Nanfeng Hospital is but one
building within an enormous health sciences university in
northern Guangzhou. We were however able to read the original
abandonment report, complete with the official red seal. Sure
enough, it said "near Nanfeng Hospital" so we would have to
accept that we will never know the exact spot in Gemma's case.
We were also hoping to get our hands on some early baby pictures
from when Gemma first came into the orphanage five days after
being born. Sadly, there were no such pictures so her early
months as an infant and then toddler remains a mystery.
At the orphanage, there were two brand new buildings nestled
into the hillside. One was for kids that were in-adoptable due
to mental health or severe disability. The other was only
recently completed. Catherine explained that the first one had
been funded by a wealthy private investor in Guangzhou, and once
completed, another private investor had to "one up" him by
building the second one with an investment of 10 million RMB.
She explained that money also comes from an investment group in
Hong Kong to fund beds for the babies. In all, Guangzhou City
SWI is enormous, handling about 12,000 children. There are maybe
a thousand or so in the orphanage itself, and the rest are
within the community in foster families. This orphanage is the
largest and best funded in all of Guangdong. Catherine expressed
some sadness that it was so well-funded because it means that
children will end up spending more time in the orphanage,
without the need for foster care. It also means the kids from
this particular orphanage will have slightly more fulfilling
lives during their stay because they will get to experience more
than kids in smaller orphanages. They'll get to go outside the
walls on field trips like park visits and river cruises. While
that sounds wonderful, it contributes to an institutionalization
sentiment which can be very difficult to break once they are
adopted. If the orphanage takes care of their every need, why go
through the pain of separation? It is truly a Catch-22 since the
hope is to get most of the kids adopted.
We also learned there are many reasons why adopting a healthy
child from China takes so long. For those of you still on I-600
that thought you'd be matched with a healthy child within a year
or so, you're living this right now since you've probably waited
for multiple years already. We know, we were DTC with our first
daughter on March 30th, 2006. We waited until spring of 2008
before throwing in the towel and switching to special needs.
Then we traveled in the summer of 2008. I'll just take a quick
minute to voice my opinion again. Now is the time to think about
adopting a special needs child. You live in a country of
prosperity and freedom and you have the means. Even if that
prosperity is not personal, as is the case with many families
during this recession, there are still ways.
Please read
my article about this from
2009. The
biggest reason why it takes so long to be matched with a healthy
child is that the Chinese themselves are adopting them up. Since
they live in a country without personal prosperity, or any
reasonable ways to get the best of care for a child, they can
only really adopt healthy children. Catherine explained that
this process takes a long time since both child and parents have
to be vetted well, and the wait list is long. Simply put, if you
want a healthy child, you are in line behind Chinese families
also wanting healthy children. I gathered that international
families get weaved in here and there but the preference is for
Chinese families. How to speed up the process? Adopt special
needs. If you don't think you can handle it, think again. There
are many special needs that are actually very simple to handle.
In 2008, 47% of international adoptions in China were special
needs. That number in 2010 is 66%.
The Guangzhou SWI is particularly watchful about their kids
making contact with their foster parents again after they've
been pulled back into the orphanage for the final weeks before
adoption. Catherine said most of the smaller orphanages will
work with them when the adoptive parents want to meet the foster
parents, but in the case of this orphanage, the rules are pretty
clear. We were adamant about being able to meet the foster
parents, and Gemma's disposition made us believe this would be
an excellent experience. But the rules are clear that this could
not happen, so I will suppress any further comment on the
matter. I will just say that, like the Watergate scandal, there
are a few purposeful missing minutes in the events of the day
recorded here.
The next stop was a visit to Long Dong Elementary School in the
Long Dong Village near the orphanage. Gemma has been attending
3rd grade here and based on her level of maturity and academics,
I'd estimate that it's a pretty good school. She was clearly
excited to be visiting which of course made us thrilled. We
pulled up along the street in front of Anywhere, Guangzhou. I
say that because all the shops and restaurants in this village
looked like any other shops and restaurants on any other street
in the city. We rounded a corner and walked through a wide
alleyway full of cargo bikes and vans. We crossed a shopping
street in the village and walked up to Gemma's school. The
school had a guard post with the kind of retractable gate that
is distinctly Chinese. From behind the gate we could see kids
everywhere in their green and white jogging suits/uniforms. We
walked across the courtyard into the building complex and
immediately up three flights of stairs. On the way up, smiling
schoolchildren were eager to practice their English by saying
"Hello" and waving. A chorus of "hellos" followed us up the
stairs and upon stopping in front of Gemma's classroom it had
turned into a deafening crescendo of voices, green and white
jogging suits surrounding us on all sides. Two things came to
mind for some reason: I suddenly felt like an unfortunate Amazon
cow that had fallen into a river full of piranhas, then I
imagined that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy's in
the bar in Cairo and the kids save him from the Nazi's by
surrounding him so they can't fire their guns. For a brief
moment in China, we were rock stars.
The teachers had to be exasperated with the disruption as droves
of kids were running out of their classrooms to see us, but if
they were, they certainly didn't show it. We felt very welcome
here. Gemma's teacher invited us into her class so that Gemma
could say a final goodbye to the kids. I was asked if I'd like
to say anything to the kids and not having thought it out, I
just replied lamely to "obey your parents, keep up on your
studies, and learn your English well". We said our final
goodbyes and now had to listen to a deafening chorus of
"goodbye" as we scurried out of the school. It was hysterical!
Back in the van we set out for Nanfeng Hospital, the last stop
on our visit. It was quite a distance from where we were and
took about 20 minutes to drive. We entered the university
complex at the south gate and immediately met with resistance by
the guard. Catherine is a masterful negotiator and we were
permitted to enter. Likely she could infiltrate the Central
Committee itself if given the chance. We drove across a
beautiful and enormous campus to the far north end where the
actual hospital is. Catherine said this is a hospital where
people come for the most serious of issues. She and I got out of
the van to snap a few pictures while April and the kids stayed
in. She said that most of the time in a place like this, the
biological parent will simply sit on a bench, set their bundled
baby down, and then walk away after a few minutes. We
photographed several likely spots in the general area, but it's
impossible to know the exact spot. When Gemma meets her Lord
someday, she can ask him directly - if she even cares. She was
indifferent about going to the hospital but we figured it was
important because later down the road she may have a yearning to
know more about the circumstances of her early childhood. We
can't patch all the holes, but just like with Ava, we're going
to spare no expense in trying.
The ride back took about 30-40 minutes and since we were driving
a while Gemma promptly went to sleep. What a wonderful skill to
have! We were back a little after noon. We'd only been out since
about 9am. Last time we did this it took the entire day because
we had to drive 5 hours one way to Maoming City. It was nice to
have it all done pretty quickly.
The afternoon was spent doing the familiar Shamian Island
pastime: walking the various streets of the island, poking our
heads into different trinket shops, and sipping a coffee from
Starbucks. Then at 6:00, everybody that was interested met
downstairs to head out for a river cruise. We boarded the bus
and wound through the city streets until we arrived at the berth
for one of the Pearl River's gaudy dinner boats. As a group we
decided to save on the cost of the buffet and have some pizza
waiting for us. Tonight it was Papa Johns. Joyce took care of
everyone's order and miraculously it was all correct and waiting
for us when we arrived. As the skipper sailed our evening's
schooner out onto the high seas, we quickly downed the pizza.
The deck hands, er, waitresses delivered some tepid Nestle
coffee that had a definite chocolate edge to it. Maybe they were
low on hot chocolate and low on coffee and blended the two to
make them last. In any case, I don't trust cold-ish coffee in
China so it just had to sit. Gemma however drank nearly the
whole thing. Not good; a nine year old with a coffee addiction.
The crow's nest of the SS Minnow was the entire 3rd floor. One
by one the families went to the top to enjoy perfect, windless
weather and the lights along the river. All the bridges were lit
up as we passed underneath them. Gavin and his buddy Brennan
were having fun filming under each one. They'd point the camera
up and walk against the direction of the boat to make it seem
like the bridges were wider than they were. After 30 minutes or
so we arrived at the Canton Tower, which is the 2nd tallest
structure in the world behind Burj Dubai. It's nearly 2,000 ft
tall and is visible from our room on a clear day. On our last
trip they were in the process of building it, planning to finish
for the grand opening at the Asian Games. The tower opened this
year on September 29th and for a fee you can go to the top and
actually walk around on an open-air observation deck on the
roof. I also discovered that the grounds around the base of the
tower are the source for the mysterious blue lights I've been
seeing late at night. Once we were closer, you could see that
the tower itself was all lit up as well. At night, you can't
even see the lights from our room because of the moisture in the
air.
The Minnow turned and headed downriver all the way back where it
made one final u-turn in front of the White Swan. The haze in
the air played tricks with the lighting on the sides of the
White Swan, making it look very surreal. Gemma and Faith were
gabbing away in Catnonese, or "Guangdong hua", all the way back
while standing near the stair well. They were more or less
oblivious to the spectacle of the city on either side of the
bank, probably talking about all the egregious hairdos they
could give to their mothers. They have been continuously styling
Leda's and April's hair. Being the good mothers they are, they
haven't had the heart to comb them out which means they've been
sporting some really interesting coiffures. April's turns out
looking like dreadlocks most the time because they make these
long braids and then batch them all together in a pony tail.
Leda looks like she's Heidi from the Swiss Alps with her braided
pony tails courtesy of Faith. Leda's husband Todd jokes that she
looks like the girl in the St. Pauli beer logo. Both the ladies
are missing patches of hair thanks to removal and repositioning
of rubber bands. I got the cold water, they got hair loss.
That's a good trade. |
The International Clinic where Gemma's had her shots and TB
testing. These people aren't sick, just getting shots for
traveling abroad (mostly to America)
Guangzhou City SWI, Gemma's orphanage
Making arrangements with the orphanage staffer
Gemma's friends anxiously waiting
Gemma's bed (the green one in the center)
Exchanging QQ numbers
Air Conditioner (it gets above 100 degrees and around 100%
humidity in the summer)
Gemma shows the girls her nifty translator
Panaroma from the fifth floor balcony outside Gemma's room
The newest wing of the orphanage
Administration building and quarters
for special needs kids
Barrel full of candy!
Sifting through Gemma's records to get pictures and a more
accurate finding spot location.
Gemma's elementary school
We were suddenly surrounded by school children!
Gemma said something that made them crack up
Nanfeng Hospital
One of the more likely spots to have been left
Asleep...again. |
