Tuesday, March
19, 2013
Mike’s Travelling Tips and Tools
It has become a tradition on our adoption journeys for me to
document the items that proved to be the most valuable during
the trip. For perspective, previous editions have included Pepto
Bismol, Portable Charmin, and Pringles Sticks.
So here is the third and final list of incredibly important
products when travelling to China:
• Wet Wipes – Earlier today, we had our second
carsickness incident. (I apologize for yet another vomit
reference in this blog, but the facts are the incredibly
disgusting facts.) Ironically, this one resembled the “Stand by
Me” pie eating contest that I referenced yesterday. Ellie puked
first on me, and then Sammy had sympathy vomit on Anne… which
apparently included a significant amount ending up in her shoes.
So in a world where toilet paper is not guaranteed and
carsickness practically is, Wet Wipes can be an incredibly
valuable commodity.
• Coke Zero – As many of you know, Anne and I have a
substance abuse problem. Our drug of choice is caffeine. While
there is a Starbucks here in Guangzhou (with a line out the door
of first-time parents from America who clearly did not get much
sleep the night before), neither Anne or I drink coffee. Anne
doesn’t like the taste, and I am too cheap. But in the absence
of Diet Mountain Dew or Diet Dr. Pepper, we have had to resort
to the only sugar-free caffeine delivery system that we can
find… Coke Zero. I suspect that it is like methadone for a
heroine addict. It takes the edge off, but it’s not quite the
same.
• Oreos – The primary reason that we need to drink
sugar-free beverages is because we are consuming a lot of
sugar-full foods. The most notable of these items is Oreos that
can be purchased at the local 7-11 store in small sleeves for
~10RMB. (I can’t always remember if that converts to $1.50 or
$60 in US dollars, but I consider it a tremendous value in
either case.) I think there were days in Changsha where Oreos
represented 90% of the calories that we consumed in a day.
• Band-Aids – Almost without question, the most important
items we brought with us from America are the Princess and
Spiderman Band-aids. When you are Sammy or spend a lot of time
around him, you will end up with your fair share of “ouchies,”
and it can be difficult to calm a hurt, crying child who does
not speak English. But Band-Aids are an international language.
In fact, I think “Ouchie” and “Band-Aid” may be two of Sammy’s
first English words. If you look closely in pictures, you will
find some photos where Ellie has up to four Princess Band-Aids
on at a time. Sammy has at least one Band-Aid that you cannot
see in pictures… a painful legacy from an incident involving a
falling toilet seat. (Only Sammy can go to the restroom and come
out needing a Band-Aid.)
• Pantene Expert Collection Shampoo and Conditioner –
Anne is an incredibly light packer. She was able to pack for 16
days in one carry-on bag (although today’s carsickness incident
is making her question whether she should have brought another
pair of shoes.) She only asked for two “luxury” items. One was
her pillow. The other was her new Pantene Expert Collection
shampoo and conditioner. I could tell you how amazing the
products are, but I think the most credible and unbiased
endorsement came from Ellie who was playing with Anne’s hair and
commented, “Mama have pretty hair.” I’m not sure what R&D middle
manager oversaw the design of those products, but I would bet
they are smart, handsome, and incredibly humble.
• Super Monkey Ball – This is an iPad app that Ellie
refers to as “the Monkey game.” It may be the only tool more
powerful than a Band-Aid for easing a child’s discomfort. So
yes, there were times when Ellie was playing “the Monkey game”
and hocking up loogies at the same time. It is also one of the
best ways to encourage Ellie to sit on daddy’s lap (as she
otherwise has a clear preference for her mother… perhaps because
that is usually where the Oreos are.)
• Profanity – This is not a traditional travel aid or one
of which I am particularly proud, but I must confess that there
have been some A-bombs dropped over the last two weeks. I wish I
was the kind of person who could spend two weeks in a foreign
country with two toddlers and never get upset, but I am not that
kind of person… I am a human. There are aspects of this trip
that are inherently frustrating, upsetting, disturbing, or
disgusting. And while we try to use prayer and discussion to
deal with the important ones, I confess that I have used a few
doses of whispered profanity to help deal with the more trivial
ones. So while I do not think that the scooter driver in
Changsha who almost ran over us could hear me, I would like to
apologize if he was offended by my comments. And for the janitor
who appeared to be emptying his septic tank onto the sidewalk in
front of me, that comment was not intended to be derogatory… it
was purely descriptive. (I have never been to a donkey farm, but
I have a feeling that the fluid coming out of that hose did, in
fact, “smell like a**.”)
• Skype – This is the first product to receive a repeat
nomination as it was also on the list for Will’s trip. To be
honest, I am not in love with Skype as a service; I am in love
with the people on the other end of the video calls. Skype is
critically important because it is the best tool we have to stay
connected with Abby, Adam, Mia, and Will on the other side of
the world. There are days, especially as we get close to the
end, when it is physically painful to be away from them. We know
they are in good hands under the amazing care of my mom and the
community of friends we have at home, but we want them to be
under OUR care. We want to wake them up in the morning and tuck
them in at night. Skype helps, but you cannot hug your kids over
Skype or climb into their bed to read them a story. So I
appreciate what Skype offers, but I will be delighted in 4 days
when a real hug will highlight how truly incomplete these
virtual exercises have been… unless it turns out that my
children have actually been replaced by robots, in which case I
will send an apology letter to Skype for their surprisingly
accurate portrayal of my robo-children. |
Ellie is laughing,
not being attacked by the stone lion.
While today went better at the clinic, let's not pretend they
were happy about it.
But we do see smiles once they reach their "loogie"
target... and the gates of candy heaven are opened.
We visited the Guangzhou Zoo today. This is Curious George
trying to climb INTO the monkey exhibit.
This is Ellie coming out of the bathroom at the Guangzhou Zoo.
What you don't see is Anne gagging as she comes out behind her.
Yeah, they are cute together.
This model was not paid for her endorsement
(but her dad was...) |
