Summer 2009

I have received quite a few emails asking about our adoption and I appreciate each one of you thinking of us and asking about us...and most of all for your prayers. Many have asked about my adoption blog and why it has been made private. The reason for that is there has just not been anything to post on lately. The wait continues on and we stand at a crossroads of sorts praying about what this means for our family.

As most of you know, when we began the process of international adoption from China, the wait was 12 months for a referral. It seems as soon as our paperwork logged into China(9-2-06) the wait started growing...first it was 14-16 months...then 18 months...then 24 months...all of that was fine and we still were willing to wait. During that time we thought for sure the wait issues would get worked out and would get back down to the normal 12-18 month wait. The wait has always fluctuated and we just saw this as one of those times where it would get back and we would receive a referral in the coming months. Not so. The wait has not shortened...but has grown longer and continues to do so.

We prayed so much about switching to special needs...but could not do it. I admire so much those of you who have adopted a special needs child. I know it takes a very special family to do that. We are not that family. Both Mike and I felt that was not in the best interest of our family. I have aging parents with lots of needs right now...we have 4 other children who we are homeschooling...the unknowns of special needs were a bit frightening to us (emotionally, financially, and just practically on a daily basis being able to so what that child would need) and we just do not think it was for us. As sad as that is, it is the truth. I know adopting a special needs child is not for everybody and as we prayed and researched it, we knew this was not God's plan for us.

Right now, I believe those who have March 2006 log in dates are receiving, or have received, referrals. It is taking about 6 months to get through one month of referral dates at the rate it is moving right now (so slow)...so that means with us being 6 months behind where they are right now, it could be possibly 36 more months for us. That would be a 6 year wait-total.

We are not withdrawing our paperwork or anything drastic like that...but we are of the mindset right now, that we may not possibly be able do this after all. Sad, yes. But, God has been so kind to give us contentment in this. I can not explain it in human capabilities...because with as excited as we were to do this in the beginning, I never would have thought that I would or could give up on such a sweet dream of mine. My mind was set on doing this and I could not wait to have my daughter in my arms. God's grace covers all of that---somehow. This is not me, but the Lord working in my heart. In my human selfishness, I would be kicking and screaming...not willing to let go. But, God in His kindness, has given Mike and I both a trust in His sovereignty through our disappointment.

Although no final decision has been made, this is where we are. If it takes 2-3 more years, we will probably not follow through with the adoption. If the wait shortens, we will pray about what we should do at that point. As of right now, there are no signs of the wait getting any shorter. So, that may be our answer.

Just please continue to pray for us...that we would KNOW how to proceed and that we would have God's wisdom as we seek to glorify Him above all.