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The journey
to Malia probably began when I first landed in Hong Kong
in October 1983. It was a dream of a life time to live
and work overseas. In a very short amount of time, I
would fall in love in a way I could have never imagined -
not with a person (that too) but really - A Way of
BEING in the world.
Ultimately, I would make my home out on little island with
fisher folk and farmers out in the South China Sea, on Lama
Island.
Lama Island became a place where I would find refuge as
well as strength to journey with those all over Asia who
were oppressed. Lama was a place where I found my passion
for writing and where I welcomed friends from all over
the world. It was a simple little flat /apartment where
the windows didn’t quite fit the openings - nor would the
door completely close or lock. However, its openness gave
a great view of the South China Sea and to some of
the greater mysteries of Life!
My life has taken many a detour since the late 80’s but I
think I have always felt and thought - there was
something that kept me deeply tied to Asia - to
“life” that was yet to be birthed?
On my birthday in spring 2004, I began to realize I could
no longer deny this tie any longer. Time was passing
quickly - so was my biological clock. I could wait no
longer for perfect conditions to move forward!
So, in May 2004 I would begin the “birthing” process which
is better known in the adoption world as “paper chasing”.
Due to the quota limit placed on single persons by the
Chinese government, my process did not actively move
forward until January 2005. Finally, all the paper work
was completed in late June 2005. It was sent off to
China in early July 2005, arriving shortly after Malia’s
birth.
As the months of waiting would pass, I would find renewed
ties to my Hong Kong life through more frequent contact
with my friend and colleague Mary Kay. Upon moving back
to the states, she and Emily made their home in Chicago.
MK was among the first I ever had known who had adopted
from China. Emily was hardly two months old when Mary Kay
brought her home to Tai Wai.
Eighteen years later, I am in awe of the THOUSANDS of
little girls who have been adopted from China. I am
equally in awe of Emily who has grown into a beautiful
young woman and who has started her senior year of high
school!
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Fall 2005 |
In January
of 2006, we would lose Mary Kay to a six month battle with
an incurable cancer. I entered a very dark time in my
birthing process as it seemed that no one was more excited
about my journey to Malia than Mary Kay.
As after every night comes morning - so through grief
came Mary Kay’s spirit to strengthen my resolve, as well
as my patience to wait for the new life
which is always among us!
FINALLY, on August 28, 2006 I received a call that my
daughter - Guo Liu Die - was born July 6, 2005 in Guangxi
province AND that she lived at Beihai Social Welfare
Institute right off the South China Sea - YES, the
place where I had realized my very first dream of a life
time!
On August 29th I would get my first glimpse of
Malia’s precious face and read what limited details were
provided about her life and development.
Throughout the “birthing” process I found the life cycle
of the “butterfly” to be a real source of symbolic
inspiration as I read FOUR times “The Waiting Heart “
by Sue Monk Kidd. She used the chrysalis, cocoon and
butterfly analogy for Life throughout her book. My
sister-in-law Lynn - the Master of Quilt Making - made me
a quilt for Christmas 2005. I was especially drawn to
the hand she had placed in the quilt - and in the hand was
a beautiful butterfly.
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The symbol
of the butterfly kept appearing every where - chance
or fate? |
After
painting and decorating Malia’s nursery (with more than a
few butterflies) while I was in Oklahoma visiting family,
Dee left me a little note that reads:
“Malia
will be our little butterfly”
So, to learn
only after Malia’s referral - that her Chinese name
meant “butterfly” - well, I couldn’t help but wonder if
she was the life I had been waiting for . . . all these years!
And she is seemingly that Red Thread that stretches my heart FORWARD to China
. . . While I will always
remember and cherish the Red Thread that loved me into
becoming the woman that I am!
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Aunt Jo - Adored and Adoring - Oklahoma 1967 |
To be a
Mother, a Parent was perhaps my only life time dream
(cocoon) which had yet to be realized - and who would have
thought I would be returning - back to the edge of the
South China Sea . . . ?
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